Divorce

 Marriage can be very hard and sometimes it may not be the right thing for the family. Divorce is a big decision for a couple to make. When the decision to get a divorce is made it can turn your family upside down. You will have to tell you kids and find a way to help them understand. You will have to talk to them and make sure that they do not blame themselves. You will have to find a new custody arrangement and see what works for your family. Your family will look at lot different that before you decided to get a divorce. 

            Many divorces have to do with money. According to the Jimenez law firm, “Money arguments are the second leading cause of divorce, behind infidelity. High levels of debt and poor communication lead to stress and anxiety when it comes to finances. Nearly half of couples with $50,000 or more in debt say money is their top reason for arguing. Nearly 2/3 of all marriages start in debt.” Earlier in the semester we talked about how having a big wedding and starting a marriage off in debt can cause some issues in the future. Well, here is the issue, divorce. Just because you start your marriage off in debt doesn’t mean that it will end in divorce, but it just puts a lot of extra stress on the marriage. There are many other things that can cause money stress and problem, so it is important to also be aware of those. 

            In the prep work for this week there was a PowerPoint and, in that PowerPoint, there was this statistic, “In fact, one study demonstrated that 70% of couples who said their marriage was “very unsatisfactory” later called their marriages “satisfactory” or “very satisfactory” simply by holding on for five years. In one study 70% of Americans polled two years after the divorce stated that they could have saved the marriage and should have saved the marriage.” In the moment of argument or struggle in the marriage it is important to remember that divorce is not the easier answer and that the better answer may be to stay and work on the marriage because later you may want it back. The PowerPoint from class also says, “Giving your very best to saving a marriage—especially where children are involved—may be necessary for you—and them—to have confidence that you were doing what was right and for the right reasons.”

            After getting a divorce many people, most likely men, will be getting remarried but this can be especially hard if you have children form a prior marriage. This is due to the fact that when you have children it can take up to two years for them to be able to adjust to a new relationship. This is also increased if the other member of the relationship also has children. In class a story was shared about two people. They were in a relationship and loved each other very much and they were great for each other. They tried and tried to make it work with their kids but in the end, it was just too hard for their children. Sometimes it works but it will take a lot of work no matter what. 

            In the end there is no one that can tell you what is right for your family and for your relationship. No matter what you decide to do it will take a lot of work from both parts. Communication will also be a big part of making it work with either option.